initiation by ice, wind and rain

As the cold front rolls in and the temperature drops, the arrival of winter symbolises the arrival of my melancholy. In the same way that bears need to go into hibernation in winter I also need retreat into myself. Winter is a time of reflection and introspection for me. Each year like clockwork the dark clouds gather in my mind and the internal storm I hold at bay during the bountiful months of summer and spring rages and cannot be ignored. I’m moody, solemn, sentimental and broody in winter. Cocooned in the armour of my emotions winter allows me to open up battle wounds and I allow myself to brutally examine decisions made and experiences lived.

I have learned over the years to allow myself to feel the melancholy that is winter, to fully immerse myself in it. It is my rebirth, my salvation. Each year I come out changed, transformed into a version of myself I longed for but could not fathom.

I have come to realise that I’m the product of my hibernation. Each passing year I grow more into the person I’m meant to be. Birthed by winter, initiation by ice, wind and rain I GROW.

P.S

As the wind rages cold and sharp against my face I stand resolved

I will not be moved or shaken.

This cannot deter me or derail me to a destiny that is not mine.

I come from queens. Their blood flows through me.

My life is their life, intertwined and bound together through time